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"Oh, because you've never ridden on my back before."
"That was years ago, thank you," I said.
"Oh, so that wasn't you who insisted I carry you around Six Flags all day last summer? No, you're probably right, it had to be that other four-foot-nine, ninety-pound, seventeen-year-old girl I was with."
I barely contained a laugh.
"Still..."
"Are you going to get on or not, this is not an all- night offer."
I climbed on his back. He groaned.
"You are heavy," he laughed. I swatted him in the back of his head. "I'm kidding, come on, let's go."
When we arrived at Memorial Garden Cemetery, we went to our favorite spot, next to the Stanley family plot. We were lying on the grass with our heads close together, but we were sprawled out in different directions.
"So what was the reason for coming out here?" I asked, turning my head to look at him.
He shrugged.
"Do you ever just need to go somewhere quiet?" he asked.
I nodded to myself. I knew that feeling a lot more lately.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"People, that's all."
"You can tell me," I assured him."If it's bad, I'll only laugh a little."
He knocked his head against mine.
"Did I tell you that I was in therapy before I came here? I mean I was fine, but not many people thought so."
"Yeah," I said.
He happened to tell me about the therapy on the same day I told him about Benjamin. The best and worst part about having a best friend is that they know everything about you and you about them.
"What about it?"
"Tina and David seem to think that you've been a good influence on me all these years," he said.
"So what's the problem?"
"Well, I heard them talking. They seem to think that I might need it again - therapy, I mean - but I think it would be completely pointless. My thoughts aren't that interesting. And I didn't mean to burn down the shed and I built a new one in its place."
I had almost forgotten about that. The famous summer shed fire had happened over three months ago. Moody had been trying to fix the grill in the back yard. Neither the shed, nor the grill survived.
"So what did you say?"
"That they shouldn't waste their money and I'm completely okay. It just seems like every little thing sets them off, you know. Like they don't trust me," he said and I could feel his breath tickling my neck.
"They do trust you, Moody, they're just worried about you."
"Worried that I'll set the house on fire."
"You're lucky they care at all. You could have been hauled off to live with some family that doesn't give a crap. They love you; you're their son and you know that," I said propping myself up on one elbow.
"I know," he said, his tone implying the conversation was over.
"So what was therapy like?" I asked.
"You don't want to know, kid," he said with no humor.
"I just needed a place to clear my head that's all. Don't worry after a few months of this divorce crap your parents are going through, they'll recommend therapy to you too," Moody said.
I sighed.
"I just can't stand it, you know. Why do divorces have to be such ugly things?"
Moody shrugged. "I don't know."
At that moment there was a howl in the wind that made my eyes bug out of my head. Moody and I sat up at the same time and looked at each other for a long moment, then we laughed.
"I guess the dead really do walk at midnight," I said still laughing.
In the morning Mom came in, fully dressed and ready for work. Her face was severe, her lips were pressed tightly together and her eyes were narrowed. She stood across from me as I sat at the counter, washing down my Cap'n Crunch with an Orange Crush. I didn't like this look; it was the Mom Look. She had adopted that look nearly permanently about three months ago.
"I know you were out last night," she said cutting right to it.
I gulped. "I uh..."I said, looking down at my cereal.
"Where did you go?" Were you lying in the road again? You know I hate it when you do that," she said.
I went along with that. I didn't want Moody to get in trouble too.
"I know, but it relaxes me. I'm sorry, though," I said, staring her right in the eyes.
She came over to me and gave me a hug, obviously seeing what I wanted her to see.
"I just don't like it, sweetie, what if you get run over?"
"It's not like I go out onto the highway or anything," I argued.
She sighed.
"Just promise me you won't do it anymore."
I bit down on my lip and crossed my fingers under the counter.
"I promise."
I hated to lie, but there are things I can't sacrifice; there are some things I can't live without.
"Okay, then I'll see you after work Char... Love you," she said at the garage door.
Just because I said I was sorry, didn't mean I wasn't going to do it again.
There was a reason I did what I did, but I tried not to think about it.
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